Have you ever thought about the subtleties of advertising? Well, the advertising executives obviously know how to sell their product. They, (the Gods of advertising) sell you on one thing and one thing only: Sex appeal. It's the oldest trick in the book and the most effective one. I, myself have given much thought to eating a four pound fat burger from Carl's Jr., if only for the simple fact that there is a hot, size 2 supermodel there to seduced me. Hey, it happened to Adam. You know, he was chillin' in the Garden of Eden, undoubtedly talking to a lion and gaggle of bears when Eve approached him. She said, "Hey baby, I know God said not to, but I want it and oh by the way, I got all of these goodies. Just one bite, hmmm?" Adam was thinking like I do; It's not the steak we buy, it's the sizzle so with that being said, how can I sell you on sex appeal? Do I get Ray (my short business partner) to put on bunny ears and wear a cotton tail? No, it's highly unlikely he'll do that, but you can't never tell what his commission check's gonna look like at the end of the month. Bills need to be paid, you know? Besides, he couldn't exactly attract the client I'm looking for unless he's dancing on a platform at the Blue Oyster Bar... No, that's not the approach here. Since we have a very limited budget and I can't get Elle McPherson to answer her phone, I suppose I will just have to go "old school" on you all and sell the sexiness of this instrument. As you can see, this guitar is clean and as voluptuous as Marilyn Monroe on the set of "Some Like it Hot" and there is a reason Queen wrote "Fat Bottomed Girls"; You can see the subliminal message guitar manufacturers send when the make guitars; To remind you of a woman's behind. "Curvy and sensuous" is the attraction and Ray and I, being red- blooded American males, we can certainly appreciate that. You may not believe what I'm going to tell you, but the first thing a man looks at while sizing up a woman is her hips. Ray didn't believe me at first, but he later recanted his obvious disbelief in my claim when he caught himself caught looking at the aforementioned in a grocery store parking lot. Hey folks, it's all scientific that in fact, men check this first attribute to see if the woman is capable of bearing children. Couldn't that be said about a guitar as well? What really attracts you to a guitar? You know oh-to-well it's been the bait for us males since the dawn of time. But, unlike its counterpart, you don't have to spoon this guitar when your done playing with her and that annoyance during your football extravaganza, (you know, "Snuggles, you don't pay me enough attention.") forget about it. This blonde baby only speaks when she's spoken to. You see now that this really could be a beautiful union that lasts a lifetime and once bought, she won't come back on you and say you owe alimony. Just love is all she requires and that, friends sounds like a win- win. Besides, Ray's gained a few pound since his 20's and his bunny costume is a tad bit lumpy. Kinda like the cheese hanging off a quarter pounder. Not nice...